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	<title>NeuroLab</title>
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	<link>http://neurolabinc.com</link>
	<description>Progress through organisational development &#38; coaching</description>
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		<title>Coaching Minute 10&#124;26&#124;01 &#8211; Careers</title>
		<link>http://neurolabinc.com/?p=974</link>
		<comments>http://neurolabinc.com/?p=974#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 08 Jul 2010 14:56:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>alan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Coaching Minute]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Careers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[education]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://neurolabinc.com/?p=974</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This week I would like to concentrate my coaching minutes on careers. Now this concept of careers is something that runs deep with people. Actually, education runs deep with people and I think you will find that there are as many differing opinions on careers as there are people giving those opinions. But what of [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This week I would like to concentrate my coaching minutes on careers. Now this concept of careers is something that runs deep with people. Actually, education runs deep with people and I think you will find that there are as many differing opinions on careers as there are people giving those opinions. But what of predictability? How do we educate our children for the future. Children entering the education system now will be retiring in 2075. None of us know what the world will look like in 5 years, net alone 65 years; and we are supposed to be educating our children to live and work in this world.<br />
There are trends that we can look at but none of us know what the future will look like, do we?<br />
How do we go about helping our children navigate the future. We think our problems are new, but every generation feels this. If you look at the theories and the psychometric tests and the research around career development you will realise that this has been a rather important point of discussion over the years, and people have been trying to resolve these issues for years!<br />
One thing I know is that the world of work out there is not the same it was 5 years ago, and the world that our children are going to work in, is not going to be as it is today. Equipping our children to handle complexity and chaos, generalising initially as opposed to specialising from the start is probably a wise thing to do.<br />
So may you learn that the world we live in is dynamic, diverse and creative, and may you understand that for all the planning and preparation we might do, factors out of our control do play a role in challenging the status quo more and more each year. Equipping our children to be able to cope with the challenges that life may throw at them is something that will probably be a good idea. </p>
<p>I’m Alan Ahlfeldt, coaching psychologist @ NeuroLab.</p>
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<enclosure url="http://neurolabinc.com/uploads/110.mp3" length="2974326" type="audio/mpeg" />
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		<item>
		<title>A nation of Wimps</title>
		<link>http://neurolabinc.com/?p=967</link>
		<comments>http://neurolabinc.com/?p=967#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 18 Jun 2010 07:31:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>alan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Parenting]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://neurolabinc.com/?p=967</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Parents are going to ludicrous lengths to take the bumps out of life for their children. However, parental hyperconcern has the net effect of making kids more fragile; that may be why they&#8217;re breaking down in record numbers.
At times I have to admit that I agree with some of this thinking.I have two sons, aged [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Parents are going to ludicrous lengths to take the bumps out of life for their children. However, parental hyperconcern has the net effect of making kids more fragile; that may be why they&#8217;re breaking down in record numbers.</p>
<p>At times I have to admit that I agree with some of this thinking.I have two sons, aged 9 and 5. Sitting in front of the screen (limited) is still taking them away from real life experiences, and limiting their coping abilities in one respect but build other abilities. One real positive is that my 9 year old is building cities in the game Pharaoh. Not only does he have to provide food and work for his people, he needs to look after their health and safety (armies) and buildings (architects and fire fighters). It is truly giving him the ability to think in a more holistic way.  Perhaps one day he will learn how to spell Pharaoh correctly.</p>
<p>Read the article and let me know what you think. Email me  <em><strong>info@neurolabinc.com<br />
</strong></em></p>
<p><a title="A nation of wimps" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200411/nation-wimps" target="_blank">http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200411/nation-wimps</a></p>
<p>Also take a look at this Ted video, the dynamic of video games on developing youth is a fascinating topic.<br />
<em>Game designer David Perry says tomorrow’s videogames will be more than  mere fun to the next generation of gamers. They’ll be lush, complex,  emotional experiences — more involving and meaningful to some than real  life. </em>Watch the video at the top of the page <a href="http://neurolabinc.com/?page_id=705">http://neurolabinc.com/?page_id=705</a></p>
<p>Alan Ahlfeldt</p>
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		<title>2010_03_001 Alan Ahlfeldt</title>
		<link>http://neurolabinc.com/?p=920</link>
		<comments>http://neurolabinc.com/?p=920#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 07 Mar 2010 09:25:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>alan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.neurolabinc.com/?p=920</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[New Year]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>The New Year</strong></p>
<p>The other day someone asked me how my year has been so far. It was the second week of January and I answered in all sincerity that it feels like the 42<sup>nd</sup> of December. As soon as I had said it I realised the impact of the statement. I always say it&#8217;s been good because I am probably on holiday, I have spent about two weeks with friends and family, probably gone away for at least a long weekend and generally would have rested my body and mind. And I would have had a lot of fun. But this year was a little different and although I had a lot of fun, there was more responsibility and much less rest than I normally would have had. The economic aftershock of much of 2009 was also present in an intrusive way and the realisation that despite all our plans and precautions, we are extremely vulnerable.</p>
<p>We can philosophise that the economic melt-down levelled the playing field a little and made many more people accountable for their spending. We can say things like one man&#8217;s loss is another man&#8217;s gain, and this too allows us to assimilate the very real consequences of a treacherous year. You see, many people outside of first world countries didn&#8217;t experience the giddying effects of a super boom economy. But when the bust came, most people in developing countries felt the crunch in varying degrees. And then I thought that we in South Africa, and especially in the Eastern Cape are actually quite used to facing the consequences of economic mayhem.  And although our resilience is building, I think that I might just have reached that threshold where I am not caring that much about the good things that might be happening in my life, in anticipation of the chaos which is out of my control.</p>
<p>I would love to believe that everything is going to be great in the future and that it will all work out in the end. But I know that it probably won&#8217;t work out in the way that I currently desire. But if the truth be told, there will be areas in my life that really do work out and there will also be areas where chaos prevails. So looking at 2010 I resolve to become more conscious of the good and positive things in my life. I resolve not to ignore the bleeding obvious and negative and to do my best to overcome what I can with the resources I have. But I will not let the negative dictate how I feel and who I am. I resolve to be a life giver and not an energy sapper. I resolve to keep looking at my life and working through my issues, not to think that they will disappear, but to know that I am doing what I can to grow and become more of who I really want to be.  So if you ask me how my 2010 has started now, that&#8217;s how I will answer.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m Alan Ahlfeldt with NeuroLab&#8217;s coaching minute of the day.</p>
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		<title>One Trauma Many Stories &#8211; Wim Kuit</title>
		<link>http://neurolabinc.com/?p=161</link>
		<comments>http://neurolabinc.com/?p=161#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 06 Mar 2009 15:01:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>alan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.neurolabinc.com/?p=161</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Terms such as trauma, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and psychological debriefing have become an integral part of the South African vocabulary. With hijackings, armed robberies and other violent crimes being a part of our everyday reality (directly or indirectly), it becomes of crucial importance to understand, respond to and ameliorate the effects of crime-related psychological [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Terms such as trauma, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and psychological debriefing have become an integral part of the South African vocabulary. With hijackings, armed robberies and other violent crimes being a part of our everyday reality (directly or indirectly), it becomes of crucial importance to understand, respond to and ameliorate the effects of crime-related psychological trauma on our communities. I’d like to propose that the stories we tell about the trauma we experience (especially in counselling), the way we position ourselves in those stories, and the meaning we ascribe to our lives in the face of trauma, are important resources in helping us respond to our South African context with hope and resilience.<br />
So what exactly is psychological trauma? A psychologically traumatic event is considered an event where we witness or experience an injury or a threat of injury that compromises (or has the potential to compromise) our own and/or others&#8217; physical safety and survival. Importantly, a traumatic event involves a sense of helplessness and intense fear. Therefore, not every dangerous experience is psychologically traumatic. For example, a rugby tackle may qualify as a threat to your physical survival, but is not associated with the helplessness and horror of a hijacking or an armed robbery. The &#8220;meaning&#8221; of the event and your &#8220;role&#8221; in the experience (how you are positioned in and by it) is consequently of great significance (see implications of this below).<br />
The expected and “normal” response to such a traumatic event includes a range of experiences such as a sense of emotional numbness or detachment, recurring thoughts and images associated with the traumatic event, anxiety, poor concentration, sleep disturbance, irritability, and avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma. Many people are disturbed by these reactions, often feeling like they are &#8220;going crazy&#8221; or &#8220;losing it&#8221;. It is important to realize that these reactions are &#8220;normal&#8221; neurobiological responses to &#8220;abnormal&#8221; circumstances of threat. Our bodies are “hardwired” to respond in certain automatic ways to danger. We have a kind of “alarm system” in our brains known as the limbic system that stimulates the release of adrenaline and stress hormones into our bodies and causes our nervous systems to produce either a fight, flight or freeze response. So when you freeze up, panic and want to run, or aggressively lash out at others after a traumatic event you are not going crazy! Your body has literally been readied for action to protect you from the threat at hand. As a consequence, however, you may be left physically and mentally “hyped up” and drenched in your own “body-chemicals”. Without psychological intervention this state of physical and psychological arousal can lead to later complications including depression, anxiety problems and PTSD.<br />
It is therefore important that we find helpful ways to &#8220;respond to our natural responses&#8221; so that we can ameliorate the potential long-term negative effects of a traumatic event. Part of this proactive response includes psychological counselling or “debriefing” as it is commonly known. Although medical intervention, such as the use of sedatives and anti-depressants, can be useful and sometimes essential in managing the acute response stage of the traumatic experience, this line of action should not be the only intervention used to assist people. As mentioned earlier, the meaning of the threatening event and your role in the trauma are of key importance and need to be addressed. This is where talking about what happened becomes imperative and it is where trained psychologists and trauma counsellors can play an important role. In essence the psychologist or counsellor’s role is to encourage you to tell the story of the trauma as you experienced it, while finding ways to make meaning of what happened. Talking through what happened is in itself a cathartic and empowering experience in that it allows us to separate somewhat from events and describe them as an observer. What is of crucial importance though is the kind of story you are encouraged to tell in the counselling conversation. What does your trauma story imply about the role you played in the experience, how you think about yourself in relation to what happened, what conclusions you’ve reached about yourself and the world, and what is still possible for you in life? These may sound like abstract questions, but these are some of the questions that are raised by the experience of trauma, especially when it has been the consequence of crime.<br />
So what would helpful and empowering “trauma story tellings” in trauma counselling look like? The first trauma story you will probably need to tell is often the story of helplessness and anger. In crime-related trauma the anger story is often about the experience of having your boundaries violated by situations and people that have not treated you with the dignity and respect that every human being deserves. The helplessness story is often an acknowledgement that the threatening crime situation happens unexpectedly and quickly, leaving us with little room to respond with careful consideration and preparation. Stories of helplessness and anger are stories that deserve to be heard as we honour and respect our emotions &#8211; emotions that are often protests against the injustice of what we were subjected to.<br />
We may however be left very disempowered and fearful if we are left with only the anger and helplessness trauma stories with us defined as the angry helpless victims. Is this really the only story there is to tell about what happened? Or are there other events and overlooked responses in ourselves that don’t fit neatly into a victim story? I am not suggesting that being subjected to trauma is a non-victim experience. That would be an absurd statement. We are in many ways the victims of the perpetrators of violent crimes or abuses that have traumatized us. I am, however, interested in the overlooked stories of survival, self-protection, dignity, forgiveness and courage that I believe can be uncovered amongst the experiences of powerlessness and dehumanization that characterise crime-related trauma. I have often spoken to clients who could describe how they made conscious decisions during robberies, hijackings or attacks that protected them and others from what might&#8217;ve been far worse outcomes. In other instances people may not have changed the course of events, but refused to allow the trauma to inform them about their dignity and value as human beings. I have witnessed stories of people reclaiming their sense of dignity and self-respect by refusing to allow the trauma and perpetrator to define them in their dealings with life. Still others have allowed the trauma to help them re-evaluate their lives and focus on what really matters to them. In certain cases I have seen people let go of anger and unforgiveness to free themselves of the resentment and bitterness that had dominated their lives. This courage and dignity to carry on living, these skills, values and abilities that people discover in themselves are the experiences that could not be dominated by the trauma. Why then should the story we tell about the experiences of trauma deny these golden story threads? Why not honour those experiences and allow them to inform us about who we are and what life can still be for us? This is what trauma counselling should be aimed at achieving.<br />
I want to clearly state that this more than one story approach to trauma counselling does not try to minimize the real and frightening experiences that people endure. Those stories must be respected and told. It is however important for South Africans to be allowed to tell the stories of hope, dignity, forgiveness and survival that I believe exist (or potentially exist) alongside every story of anger, victimhood and fear.<br />
If you have experienced trauma of any kind and feel it is important for you to tell and re-tell your trauma story in a safe and supportive environment, I’d encourage you to seek professional counselling from a psychologist or trained trauma counsellor.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>A Unique Approach to Couple Work by Wim Kuit</title>
		<link>http://neurolabinc.com/?p=112</link>
		<comments>http://neurolabinc.com/?p=112#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 28 Jan 2009 10:17:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>wim</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Couples]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.neurolabinc.com/?p=112</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Would you agree that the demands of life have never before placed as much pressure on marriage and couple relationships as in the 21st century? As if the stresses of the economy, the power crisis and crime weren’t enough, many couples have to manage what are known as psychological vulnerabilities, often with little support and [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Would you agree that the demands of life have never before placed as much pressure on marriage and couple relationships as in the 21st century? As if the stresses of the economy, the power crisis and crime weren’t enough, many couples have to manage what are known as psychological vulnerabilities, often with little support and guidance.</p>
<p>These <strong>vulnerabilities</strong> are “emotional sore spots” that are carried into the couple relationship from past experiences and other current contexts (such as friendships, family relations and work), where varying degrees of distress, emotional pain and sometimes trauma have been experienced. Even the most loving of families or well-intentioned friendships cannot accommodate perfectly our every need and expectation. Learning to deal with and survive the inevitable hurts and disappointments of life is fortunately an important part of healthy psychological development.</p>
<p>However, we all tend to become “hyper-sensitive” to certain experiences from which we tend to want protection. Some of us may be particularly attuned to being betrayed, while others may struggle more with criticism or rejection, trying to avoid these things at all costs. Whatever our particular sensitivities may be, we developed <strong>survival strategies</strong> early on to protect ourselves from re-experiencing that which makes us feel vulnerable and under threat. Some of us learnt to withdraw from others or deny problems, while others may have found that displays of anger provided protection. And there are many other such strategies. Survival strategies are the best means we found in the past to create secure and fulfilling relationships</p>
<p>Problems arise when these <strong>vulnerabilities and survival strategies</strong> start preventing us from experiencing open, collaborative and trusting relationships with our life partners. Although survival strategies may have been successful in the past by helping us sustain secure bonds, they can become &#8220;outdated&#8221; and harmful to the growth of relationships. Many couples can report times when disconnection, defensiveness and power struggles seemed to dominate their otherwise special bond.</p>
<p>The E-vulnerability Cycle (see Figure 1 below) is a unique approach to resolving relationship conflict that helps couples identify how their vulnerabilities and survival strategies tend to result in <strong>relational impasses</strong>. A relational  impasse occurs when a couple’s very attempt to deal with escalating conflict becomes part of the problem. The E-vulnerability Cycle shows how a relational impasse is the result of a <strong>mutual activation</strong> of a couple’s respective vulnerabilities (sore spots). The paradox here is that it is our survival strategies that tend to activate our partners’ vulnerabilities. As shown in Figure 1, each partner’s way of protecting themselves is what stimulates the vulnerability of the other. A vicious cycle ensues where each partner’s behavior keeps triggering emotional pain, and therefore defensiveness and disconnection from the other. The couple feels stuck and often helpless to make a change.</p>
<p>This is where couples counselling with the E-vulnerability Cycle can provide assistance. The counselling process helps a couple identify their vulnerabilities and the counter-productive effects of their survival strategies. The couple’s unique E-vulnerability Cycle diagram is developed in the context of personality style**, family of origin issues, and socio-cultural influences. Couples are invited to critically re-evaluate the factors that <strong>sustain</strong> their survival strategies and to develop more <strong>constructive</strong> responses for managing their vulnerabilities. Once the relational impasse has been deconstructed, the counselling process can celebrate and build on the <strong>virtuous threads</strong> in the tapestry of the couple’s love relationship.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.neurolabinc.com/uploads/vul.thumbnail.jpg"><img align="absBottom" src="http://www.neurolabinc.com/uploads/vul.thumbnail.jpg" alt="Figure 1." title="Figure 1." /></a><img align="right" width="0" src="/images/articles/wim/vcycle.jpg" alt="Vcycle" height="0" title="Vcycle" /> </p>
<p> ** The next article posted by Wim Kuit will reveal the survival strategies, vulnerabilities and values of <strong>9 distinct personal styles</strong> outlined by a revolutionary personality profiling system.</p>
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		<title>Making Memories &#8211; A Father&#8217;s Legacy</title>
		<link>http://neurolabinc.com/?p=110</link>
		<comments>http://neurolabinc.com/?p=110#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 30 Oct 2008 05:49:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>warren</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.neurolabinc.com/?p=110</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Men are reclaiming their role as fathers a role the baby boomer generation exchanged for a material ideology. More and more men are attending Antenatal classes with their wives, becoming intimately involved in the birth of their son’s and daughters. When my brother’s first child was being born, the men gathered at a local drinking [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p align="justify">Men are reclaiming their role as fathers a role the baby boomer generation exchanged for a material ideology. More and more men are attending Antenatal classes with their wives, becoming intimately involved in the birth of their son’s and daughters. When my brother’s first child was being born, the men gathered at a local drinking hole in preparation of the imminent celebration. The revolution in men within a single decade saw me dressed in a hospital gown alongside my wife at the birth of our first son. As a new generation of men, we have reclaimed our role, become partners with our wives in the life altering of birth and are recognizing the unique strengths we bring into our new family union. Possibly our greatest strength is in creating memories. Memories that feed into our children’s spirits leaving a legacy of the bond fathering brings.</p>
<p align="justify">&nbsp;</p>
<p align="justify">A memory created recently was one of running across the soft wet sea sand, chased by my two year old son, giggling as he launched a bucket of muddy sea water over me, I had a deep sense of knowing that we were creating a special memory. The game was writing a happy line into our journal of memories. This memory would carry me through the experience of fatherhood. His would authenticate his belonging as a son. We were taking snapshot in time of father and son at play. Our cavorting on the beach was a time of bonding, one of many in our journey of discovering each other, a son enjoying the safety of our bond. I concede that at two year olds are fairly easy to bond with; all they need is a playmate. But this trip was more intentional. It was another opportunity to build into our relational foundation. A foundation that I trust will become a silent anchor through the testing changes ahead when he becomes a teenager.</p>
<p align="justify">&nbsp;</p>
<p align="justify">This was an intentional water fight in that it was my son’s second birthday. For this milestone in his life I had decided to give him a special gift, a gift beyond the plastic gadgets and fluffy toys two year olds get. I wanted to give myself to him, a whole chunk of time for us to spend together, just him and me. As the sun cast warm rays across a sandy beach, we splashed around in circles laughing at each other. A brief moment that seemed frozen in time, just for the two of us, father and a son.</p>
<p align="justify">&nbsp;</p>
<p align="justify">My own childhood is scattered with memories of special times together, like tiny spots of light in the night sky. Memories of a fishing trip with my own father and two brothers. Bedding down under the stars with the gentle wash of breakers lulling us to sleep. Waking up on a remote beach and having to fry eggs on a spade because we had forgotten the pan. Memories of shared excitement as my brother strained against the one that didn&#8217;t get away. The taste of exhilaration as my Dad taught me to catch an octopus, feeling its suckers clinging to my arm. Childhood memories whose sights, sounds and smells are still fresh in my memory today, so many years on.</p>
<p align="justify">&nbsp;</p>
<p align="justify">Now it’s my turn to create some of the same memories for my son. Memories that are like slapping wonderfully bright brush strokes across the canvas of his life. Intended memories, created by a father as a gift to his son. Now it’s our turn. Within the pressure that adult life demands, we constantly have to make choices to take the opportunities afforded us and intentionally direct ourselves to invest ourselves into our children’s lives.</p>
<p align="justify">Within these opportunities, the joy of being a father is in the adventure we are able to create out of the ordinary everyday activities. Opportunities to play a significant role in our child’s life, creating adventures that turn a visit to the beach into a wild water fight. Bike rides into a high speed grand prix race and a regular garden swing into a death-defying circus trapeze. Adventures that create memories, building bonds that last a lifetime. This is the joy, the privilege the opportunity of fatherhood.</p>
<p align="justify">Warren Guscott</p>
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		<title>Parenting &amp; Teen Moodiness</title>
		<link>http://neurolabinc.com/?p=109</link>
		<comments>http://neurolabinc.com/?p=109#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 30 Oct 2008 05:46:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>warren</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.neurolabinc.com/?p=109</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Surviving Pre-teen Moodiness
Raising an adolescent can feel like a war zone. The shell shock of a once pleasant child, who suddenly transforms into a tirade of explosive moods &#38; defiant attitude.
You find yourself under fire as a passing request to put their dirty clothes in the wash basket explodes into a one-way shouting match, leaving [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Surviving Pre-teen Moodiness<br />
Raising an adolescent can feel like a war zone. The shell shock of a once pleasant child, who suddenly transforms into a tirade of explosive moods &amp; defiant attitude.<br />
You find yourself under fire as a passing request to put their dirty clothes in the wash basket explodes into a one-way shouting match, leaving you feeling that you are the worst parent on the entire planet.<br />
Today’s teenagers are growing up in a different world. They face challenges that are unique to their generation, very different to what we faced. They are in turbulent transition. Leaving behind their childhood to enter the long journey into adulthood. One of the challenges this journey inflicts is the dramatic hormonal changes that surge through their bodies at light speed. Just think back to your own teenage years and the irrational things you said and did to your parents/care givers. Your young teen does not have control over these hormonal surges, nor do they fully understand what is going on with their bodies and emotions. It is not their fault. As a parent, one of the toughest challenges is to not take it personally, nor break their spirit with words from your own sense of frustration and failure.</p>
<p>Moodiness is a normal feature of teenage development. Particularly for young teens who are experiencing new emotions at an intensity level they are not used to. Asking a young teen why they are so moody, or behaving in a particular way, can cause more misunderstanding. They do not yet have the language to explain what they are experiencing. In short, asking a series of questions can actually increase moodiness. He is moody because he’s a teenager.<br />
As a parent, start where you have the most leverage &#8211; The maturity to choose your attitude &amp; response. Respond to your young teen’s behaviour, rather than reacting to the moodiness.</p>
<p>When your teen erupts with an exaggerated sense of injustice for requesting they finish a chore, respond, don’t react. Try respond to the behaviour rather than the moodiness. Give him a choice between speaking respectfully, or loosing access to a privilege. It’s always better to get co-operative behaviour with bad attitude that bad behaviour with good attitude! By anticipating your own response, you can manage yourself better &#8211; duck, breathe and respond. As a parent, I want to be the kind of person my pre-teen trusts, no matter what he throws my way. A consistent and emotionally stable attitude will win out eventually.<br />
The good new is that your moody young teen will get to grips with the hormonal surges, discover language to express what’s going on inside and learn to adapt to living in the home without infecting everyone – hopefully before they are 60.</p>
<p>Warren Guscott is a Life Coach working with teens and their parents/care givers. Warren offers workshops to schools on Parenting Styles, Discipline and Teaching &amp; Learning Styles.<br />
083 6519178 (w) 041 581 0662<br />
<a href="mailto:warren@neurolabinc.com">warren@neurolabinc.com</a></p>
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		<title>Rants from Tom Peter’s &#8220;re-imagine&#8221;, (2003) on the American Education System</title>
		<link>http://neurolabinc.com/?p=39</link>
		<comments>http://neurolabinc.com/?p=39#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 08 Nov 2007 11:13:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>alan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.neurolabinc.com/?p=39</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I love this rant from Tom Peters. I cannot say that I enjoyed school, perhaps a couple of subjects every here and there but on the whole it was simply the most boring 12 years of my life.  I never achieved very well either and as a result my self esteem was affected in [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I love this rant from Tom Peters. I cannot say that I enjoyed school, perhaps a couple of subjects every here and there but on the whole it was simply the most boring 12 years of my life.  I never achieved very well either and as a result my self esteem was affected in a negative way. I was 36 before I achieved my first degree. From an education system that reinforced that I was not university material, I show them the application for my doctoral studies in consulting psychology. I show them too my Masters degree in psychology and mirror their ignorance and lack of insight and the inability to harness the potential of this student.</p>
<p>Peters rants, as do I of my school going years and I quote Peters, T, (2003) re-imagine, p.277.</p>
<p>•   Our school system is a thinly disguised conspiracy to quash creativity<br />
•    We are at an inflection point. We seem to be reinventing everything – except the school system, which should (in theory) underpin, even lead, the rest.<br />
•    “The main crisis in schools today is irrelevance.”<br />
•    “Our education system is a second-rate, factory style organization pumping out obsolete information in obsolete ways.”<br />
•    “Our educational thinking is concerned with ‘what is.’” It is not good at designing: ‘What can be.’”<br />
•    “Every time I pass a jailhouse or a school, I feel sorry for the people inside.”</p>
<p>We attempt to “reform” an educational system hat was designed for an Industrial Age – for a Fordist era in which employees needed to “know their place” and in which employers needed uniformity “trained,” interchangeable “parts” (“workers” in collars both blue and white). Yet now we must prepare for a world in which value emerges from individual initiative and creativity. And we must reject all notions of “reform” that merely serve up the more of the same: more testing, more “standards,” more uniformity, more conformity, more bureaucracy.</p>
<p>I imagine<br />
A school system that recognizes that learning is natural, that a love of learning is normal, and that real learning is passionate learning.<br />
A school curriculum that values questions above answers… creativity above fact regurgitation… individuality above uniformity… and excellence above standardized performance.<br />
A society that respects its teachers and principals, pays them well, and (most important) grants them the authority to do their job… as the creative individuals they are, and for the creative individuals in their charge.</p>
<p>Posted by Alan Ahlfeldt al@neurolabinc.com</p>
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		<title>Goals of Executive Coaching &#8211; Alan Ahlfeldt</title>
		<link>http://neurolabinc.com/?p=38</link>
		<comments>http://neurolabinc.com/?p=38#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 08 Nov 2007 09:19:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>alan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[One of the Guru&#8217;s of coaching (in my opinion anyway) is Richard Kilburg. In his book Executive Coaching &#8211; Developing Managerial Wisdom in a World of Chaos (2006) &#8211; he outlines certain goals which I aspire to and have adopted as practice for my coaching intervention.They are outlined  below:
1.    Increase the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>One of the Guru&#8217;s of coaching (in my opinion anyway) is Richard Kilburg. In his book Executive Coaching &#8211; Developing Managerial Wisdom in a World of Chaos (2006) &#8211; he outlines certain goals which I aspire to and have adopted as practice for my coaching intervention.They are outlined  below:</p>
<p>1.    Increase the range, flexibility, and effectiveness of the client&#8217;s behavioural repertoire<br />
2.    Increase the client&#8217;s capacity to manage and organise &#8211; planning, organising, staffing, leading, controlling, cognitive complexity, decision making, tasks, jobs, roles, etc.<br />
3.    Improve client&#8217;s psychological and social competencies.<br />
a.    Increase psychological and social awareness and understanding (17 Dimensions)<br />
b.    Increase tolerance of ambiguity<br />
c.    Increase tolerance and range of emotional responses<br />
d.    Increase flexibility in and ability to develop and maintain effective interpersonal relationships within a diverse workforce<br />
e.    Increase the client&#8217;s awareness and knowledge of motivation, learning, group dynamics, organisational behaviour, and other components of psychosocial and organisational domains of human behaviour<br />
f.    Decrease acting out of emotions, unconscious conflicts, and other psychodynamic patterns<br />
g.    Improve the client&#8217;s capacity to learn and grow<br />
h.    Improve the client&#8217;s stress management skills and stress hardiness<br />
4.    Increase the client&#8217;s ability to manage self and others in conditions of environmental and organisational turbulence, crisis and conflict<br />
5.    Improve the client&#8217;s ability to manage his or her career and to advance professionally<br />
6.    Improve the client&#8217;s ability to manage the tension between organisational, family, community, industry, and personal needs and demands<br />
7.    Improve the effectiveness of the organisational team</p>
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		<title>An understanding of temperament can reduce conflict &#8211; by Warren Guscott</title>
		<link>http://neurolabinc.com/?p=37</link>
		<comments>http://neurolabinc.com/?p=37#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 07 Nov 2007 14:20:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>alan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.neurolabinc.com/?p=37</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Effective people seem to know who they are, what their strengths and limitations are, and as a result generally behave in a ways which they know make them happy. Effective leaders also appreciate the strengths of others, and behave compassionately. They inspire those around them.
Take Alex for example, a successful sales executive. Despite his excellent [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Effective people seem to know who they are, what their strengths and limitations are, and as a result generally behave in a ways which they know make them happy. Effective leaders also appreciate the strengths of others, and behave compassionately. They inspire those around them.</p>
<p>Take Alex for example, a successful sales executive. Despite his excellent sales turnover, the sales manager has a negative perception of him because he does not complete his call reports. When he does, they are superficial and lack the detail the manager wants.<br />
To explain this conflict we asked Alan, a Coach and Psychologist who consults to NeuroLab, if there was a connection between people’s perception of others and their temperament type? “Most definitely, the two are correlated”, says Alan; “Our temperament influences the way we view our world. Human behaviour is complex and dependant on more than mere temperament or personality though. Experience, environment and a multitude of other factors need to be taken into consideration when really understanding human behaviour. Understanding the various temperaments however gives us a foundation of understanding regarding how we prefer to behave and think. It also gives us an understanding of how other temperament styles prefer to think and behave. Once you start understanding temperament styles, it’s as though the lights get switched on and you can start to navigate your way into understanding yourself, your perceptions and your interactions with others.</p>
<p>Alex’s behaviour and style indicates that he fits the personality type who enjoys a faster paced lifestyle and gets bored with mundane and repetitive tasks. Alex gets things done and values freedom more than anything. In order to reach his targets, he sometimes has to side step procedures. His manager, on the other hand, values structure, procedure and order in maintaining a well functioning and successful business.<br />
The clash between these two capable people is not about competency, but about perceptions, work styles and values. Alex values his ability to supply his client no matter what. The manager values organizational structure and correct procedure. If Alex could gain an insight into how a person of his managers temperament thinks, organizes, communicates and managers, he may be able to adjust his behaviour. In turn, understanding Alex’s values could relieve this conflict, and even allow the manager to harness Alex’s strengths. A proactive manager would make certain concession and possibly avail the services of an admin person to assist Alex with his paperwork. Alternatively, verbal or short feedback information in the form of email could relieve Alex‘s frustration and free him up to get out and sell, which would translate directly into increased profits.</p>
<p>When you know what your core strengths, values and limitations are, and feel good about them, you can improve your performance and increase your potential for success. And when you achieve an understanding of others core strengths, values and limitations, you have the basis to communicate, motivate and achieve common goals more efficiently and with mutual respect.</p>
<p>NeuroLab are licensed to offer the Insight Learning Foundation Temperament Profiling Assessment in team development workshops. Presented by a registered psychologist and an accredited trainer, these workshops help each team member identify his or her dominant temperament style. This understanding raises their awareness of how their work, communication and organisational style impact their professional interactions. Neurolab then introduce emotional intelligence skills to stimulate communication, synergy, understanding and ultimately productivity.<br />
Warren is an accredited trainer and NeuroLab associate. For more information contact warren on 083 651 9178 or email: warren@neurolabinc.com or visit www.neurolabinc.com</p>
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